Without You
by cmarrrie
Summary: New York. Rachel Berry was finally here. If only she didn't feel like something was missing. AU. Finchel.
1. i can't win, i can't reign

**Without You.**

**Chapter 1**

**New York. Rachel Berry was finally here. If only she didn't feel like something was missing. [AU. Finchel.]  
**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Glee belongs to Fox. **

* * *

New York.

It was everything she had ever expected to be. The lights, the streets, the people, the fashion. Everything was alive.

Rachel Barbra Berry _belonged_ in New York City.

She stood outside of NYADA, her heart pounding and the roar of chaos on the streets surrounding her. It sounded like music to her ears.

She smiled, gripping her suitcase tightly. She was determined to make the most of these next 4 years. She would be on that Broadway stage. She would be known for her incredible talent and passion for performing.

She had been dreaming of this day for the past eighteen years. She was so happy. One thing was missing...

_Finn. _

The thought of him shattered her heart into millions of more tiny pieces. He was supposed be with her right now, standing next to her, holding her hand. She didn't belong here witho_ut _him.

She closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. Rachel Berry did not cry in public. No. She was a star. She was meant for this. She pulled her shoulders back, straightened her coat and marched right into NYADA.

* * *

Four years. Four years since she had stepped foot in NYADA, broken and nervous.

What the hell had she been nervous about?

She was born to do this.

Rachel smiled to herself, scanning the crowd for her dads and friends. She heard a girlish squeal from behind her and she laughed, turning to find Kurt Hummel rushing towards her.

"You were incredible." He gushed, hugging her tightly, picking her off the ground. Rachel laughed, hugging him back just as tightly. They pulled away and Kurt smoothed over his silk suit, smiling down at his best friend.

"Thank you." She whispered, her eyes glossy with tears of joy.

"Move over, Lady Hummel, my turn to give Berry some lovin's." A husky voice said from behind Kurt and Rachel grinned at Santana Lopez. Santana smiled back, hugging Rachel just as tightly. "I have to admit, they couldn't have picked a better person to perform for graduation. I give you praise." Santana clapped her hands and Rachel's dads joined in, coming up and joining the three friends.

"I did the song justice, right?" Rachel asked worriedly, looking around at the four of them. She had been stunned when the Dean had approached her, asking her to perform the closing song for graduation. She had of course accepted, Rachel Berry never refused an opportunity in which she should show case her talent, but she had been surprised none the less.

"Rachel, if Barbra would've been here, you would've even given her the chills." Kurt reassured her, linking their pinkies together and Rachel blushed.

She had made the most the most of 4 years at NYADA. She struggled and learned and grew as a performer. She pushed herself to do her best and it had already paid off.

In five months, she would begin rehearsal for role as Marueen in Broadway's _Rent_. Her dream was finally becoming a reality.

She was brought back by Kurt and Santana's chattering while her Dad's led her out of the auditorium to take her and her best friend's to lunch in the city. She looked around at them, taking it all in and she smiled.

Three years ago, Kurt had decided to follow her to New York, deciding to follow his dreams with fashion. He had already worked with a few big names and he was finally getting his foot in the door. Santana came with Kurt, deciding that New York was where she belonged as well. Her attitude and talents had earned her numerous of commercial jobs and she was beginning to break into modeling. The three of them shared a three-bedroom apartment outside of the city and they couldn't have been happier with how their lives were turning out.

But Rachel's heart ached every now and then and she felt lonely. Kurt and Blaine managed to stay together and Blaine had come to New York to join Kurt. He was now a junior at NYU and finding his way. Santana and Brittany had broken up when Santana came to New York, but the summer after Brittany graduated from McKinley, she also followed Santana. She was making a name for herself in the dancing business, and her and Santana continued their relationship.

Sure, Rachel had dated a few guys on and off at NYADA. But none of them had worked out. None of them seemed to understand her the way Finn had. She compared them all to Finn, knowing that deep down, her heart still belonged to him. She was twenty two years old and still in love with the boy from high school.

"Rachel?" Her dad, LeRoy, asked softly, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Is this alright for lunch? Kurt and Santana told us this was your most favorite place."

Rachel looked up at their expectant gazes, and then glanced at the pizzeria sign. She grinned, nodding. "Of course, Papa. They have the most lovely vegan lasagna."

"Well then what are we waiting for? I wants to get my eats on." Santana said, dragging Rachel by the hand into the restaurant. Smiling, she let her best friends drag her inside, her fathers following them.

* * *

"What's wrong, Rachel?" Kurt asked later that night. The three friends were cuddled up on their couch, watching The Wizard of Oz. They had spent the afternoon celebrating Rachel's graduation and landing the role in Rent. Rachel's dads had taken a late flight back to Ohio for work.

Rachel had a slight buzz as they sipped on red wine in their pajamas. Her feet were in Kurt's lap and her head on Santana's shoulder.

"Yeah, Berry, what's up your ass? Lady Hummel and I have noticed it all day." Santana added, sipping her own wine.

Rachel glanced up at them, biting her lip. Could she really bring this up? She had vowed them a year ago that she wouldn't speak of Finn again.

Instead, she said, "I think I want to go back to Lima."

Santana dropped her glass of wine, swearing loudly and Kurt's mouth dropped open, his eyes wide.

"W-w-what?" Kurt stuttered, his voice higher than usual, and Santana ignored the spilled wine, grabbing Rachel by the shoulders, pushing her hand against her forehead.

"Are you sick? Do you have a fever?" She questioned and Rachel pushed her hand away, standing up to her full height, which sadly, was still just as tiny as in high school.

"I want to go back home." She stated firmly, hands on her hips. "I miss Lima. Having my dad's here made me realize how much I've missed them the past four years. I love New York, this is obviously my home and clearly where I belong, I know that. But I have five months until rehearsals start for Rent and I want to go back to where I grew up. Who knows the next time I'll be able to get away? Once my career takes off after Rent, I expect to be a busy women and this is my one chance to really spend time with my dads and everyone back home."

"Rachel, why I admire you for knowing that you are going to be a huge star after Rent, I'm really confused as to why this is all being brought up." Kurt said, sitting up and fluffing his hair.

Rachel shrugged. "I just miss home. I want to see Mr. Schue and their baby, to see everyone else and go back to McKinley. I'm not saying I want to spend five months there, God knows I would probably strangle someone; I just want to take a month to visit." She finished, crossing her arms. "I would love for the two of you to join; if not, I understand completely. But I plan on buying a plane ticket tomorrow."

Kurt and Santana glanced at each other before looking back up at Rachel. They knew better than to try and convince her not to go back. Once Rachel had her mind set on something, she was going to do it no matter what.

Santana let out a breath, smacking her lips together and Kurt sighed.

"Well," Santana blew a strand of hair out of her face and Rachel grinned, knowing the answer that was coming, "I guess we're going back to Ohio."

* * *

let me know what you think! i know the new season starts tomorrow, but i just recently started working on this and decided to post it after reading several finchel stories. reviews are appreciated!


	2. i will never win this game, without you

**Without You**

**Chapter 2**

**New York. Rachel Berry was finally here. If only she didn't feel like something was missing.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Glee belongs to Fox. **

* * *

Finn Hudson had no idea how he had gotten to this point. When he left for the Army, he swore that he wouldn't ever come back to Lima. But after three and a half years and an honorable discharge, Finn found himself back at home.

"Finn!" Carole Hummel called down in the basement and Finn rolled over, thankful that they had left the basement the way he kept it before he left. He never understood how he slept on this tiny bed, let alone how he and Rachel used to lay in it all those nights.

_Rachel._

The thought of her made him groan. Since he had come back four months ago, he was reminded of Rachel everywhere he went. He didn't want to think about her and tried to push thoughts of her away...hell, what was he saying. He thought of Rachel everyday for the past four years.

When he sent her away at the train station that day, his heart had shattered into a million pieces and it hadn't been fixed since then. Sure, he talked to Kurt as much as he could, but Kurt knew better than to bring Rachel up even though he lived with her now. He knew Finn wouldn't be able to handle it.

Finn pushed himself up and rubbed the back of his head, trying to push away the thoughts of Rachel.

"Finn!" His mother yelled again, snapping him out of his thoughts. "I need your help!"

"Coming!" He yelled back, forcing himself out of bed. His shoulders slumped and he wandered up the stairs, deciding he needed a distraction if he was going to be here in Lima any longer.

* * *

"Will?" Finn entered his old Glee coach's office hesitantly. Will Schuester looked up from grading papers and smiled widely when he saw Finn in his doorway.

"Finn! To what do I owe this surprise?" He asked, genuinely happy to see Finn. Finn grinned, slumping down into the empty chair and he felt like he was back in high school again.

"Just thought I'd stop by and see how things were going." Finn said and Mr. Schue dropped his papers, leaning forward.

"I know you better than that Finn, I saw you just last week. You don't just come in here to see how things are going."

Finn smiled slightly. Mr. Schue did know him too well. "I've just had a lot on my mind I guess and needed someone to talk to."

"What can I do to help?"

Finn was quiet for a moment. He really had no idea why he had decided to come see Mr. Schuester, he had just felt a tug and he followed his gut feeling. "I feel weird." Finn finally admitted and Will folded his hands on his desk.

"Why do you think you do?"

Finn stared at the picture of the family on Mr. Schue's desk. Emma Schuester stood in the picture, holding their two and a half year old baby girl in her arms while Will stood by her side, kissing their little girl's cheek. Finn's heart hurt.

"I just feel like part of me is missing, I think...The Army was nice for a while and it made me forget stuff but I just feel empty now. You know?" Finn admitted.

Mr. Schue leaned across the desk and examined Finn. He longed to help Finn, he was like a son to him after all.

"Why don't you come help with the Glee club?" Will suggested, surprising Finn with his suggestion.

"Glee? I don't know Mr. Schue, that was kinda just in high school. I don't know if that's me anymore."

Will sighed, reaching down and opening a drawer, pulling out a picture in a wooden frame. He placed it in front of Finn and Finn's eyes grew wide. "Remember when you gave this picture to me? I've kept it all these years. I show my Glee Club kid's every year, show them the kids that changed my life through Glee Club."

Finn reached out, taking the picture in his hands. It was taken their senior year when New Directions had won Nationals. The group huddled together with Mr. Schue in the middle, celebrating their win. Their trophy was proudly held in the air and they each had a look of pure joy on their faces. Finn's eyes dropped to the center of the picture where him and Rachel held each other tightly and he could see the tears of happiness streaming down Rachel's face and he smiled at the memories of that day. He had never felt so good in his life.

"Have you sung since Glee at all, Finn?" Will asked.

"No." Finn mumbled, still staring at the picture, his eyes never leaving Rachel. He glanced up, shaking his head and handing the picture back to Mr. Schue. "I stopped singing the day I let Rachel go."

Will noticed the sadness in Finn's voice and made a decision right then and there, stating firmly. "You're coming to help with Glee Club."

Finn's head snapped up. "What?"

"You heard me; you're going to help me out with Glee." Will repeated. "We've got nationals coming up at the end of May. We can win it, but were struggling. I think you helping us for the next month could really help. You could really show the kids what it takes."

Finn sat back, considering his option. When he was singing in Glee, he was the happiest he had ever been. But at the same time, singing reminded him of Rachel. What the hell, he had nothing else to lose. If anything, this could end up helping him sleep at night instead of staying up until the early hours watching episodes of Breaking Bad.

"I'll do it."

* * *

"Rachel, are you packed yet?" Kurt called down the hallway, tapping his foot impatiently as him and Santana and Brittany waited for Rachel to join them. A second later, Rachel emerged from her bedroom, her large gold suitcase in tow.

"Jesus, Berry, your suitcase looks like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow." Santana remarked.

"Unicorns live at the end of rainbows." Brittany added, twirling her blonde hair around her finger and Kurt held back a laugh.

"Ha ha, very funny Santana. It's not my fault that I'm a star and need the proper luggage to accommodate my life." Rachel said proudly, holding her head up.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, we get it, you're a star. And as much as we love you, if we don't leave now then we're not going to make it to our flight on time."

"Kurt's right, and I've got rehearsal in two hours." Brittany added and Santana grabbed her hand.

"I wish you were coming with us Brittany." Rachel said as the four friends walked down the hallway to the elevator.

"I'll be there in two weeks." She promised and they all nodded.

"Is Blaine already back?" Santana asked, as they hailed a taxi. Kurt nodded as the cab driver helped them with their suitcases.

"He's picking us up from the airport." Kurt said, ushering the girls into the cab. Rachel smiled as she was squeezed between Santana and Brittany with Kurt in the front. In a few short hours she would be back where she grew up. She longed to walk down the halls of McKinley again and to visit Mr. Schue and spend time with her family and friends. As much as she loved and belonged in New York, Lima, Ohio would always have a part of her heart.

Rachel Berry's heart was in for a huge surprise.

* * *

heres chapter two in hopes of more feedback! btw, the lyrics in the title and chapter title's belong to David Guetta in the song Without You!


	3. i am lost, am vain

**Without You**

**Chapter 3**

**New York. Rachel Berry was finally here. If only she didn't feel like something was missing.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Glee belongs to Fox. **

* * *

Kurt Hummel did not worry often. It caused wrinkle lines and he was dammed if he would ever look older than twenty five. He prided himself in how he maintained his appearance.

But this...this was a completely different story. Kurt had been worrying since the moment they flew out of New York.

Moments before his flight, he had texted Blaine to make sure he would be there on time to pick them up. Blaine had texted back saying one thing:

_Finn is back in Lima. _

Kurt had almost dropped his phone and had it not been for the fact that he was holding Rachel's hand, he would have stopped walking completely.

He hadn't heard from him brother in a couple of months since his honorable discharge. Finn had told him the situation and said he was going to travel for a bit. Kurt had no idea his travels would eventually land him back in Lima, Ohio.

Where he was currently headed. With Rachel Berry. The one girl Finn had ever loved.

"Holy mother of God." Kurt whispered.

"What was that?" Rachel asked, looking up at Kurt through her long lashed. Her brown eyes looked concerned and Kurt plastered a smile on his face.

"Oh nothing, just thinking about some fashion ideas." Kurt covered smoothly and Rachel nodded, her eyes looking back forward. Kurt had to talk to Santana alone. He knew the fiery Latina would know what to do about this.

* * *

"Is it me, or does this feel weird?" Rachel asked the moment they had landed, walking through the airport.

Santana and Kurt nodded. It felt as if they had gone back in time.

They spotted Blaine easily in the crowd and Kurt made a beeline for him, giggling as they hugged each other tightly.

"Get a room you two." Santana remarked, rolling her eyes.

"Nice to see you too, Santana." Blaine said, looking like a little boy when he smiled. Kurt grabbed his hand tightly, looking at him lovingly and kissing him softly.

"Oh my god, you two might as well just do the nasty here in the middle of the airport." Santana's comment earned a smack from Rachel and she broke out into laughter, throwing her arms around Blaine and Rachel. "Ah, it's good to be back!"

The friends laughed and in that moment, Kurt vowed that he would do everything possible to make sure Finn and Rachel would not run into each other.

* * *

"Oh my god, how did I ever live here?" Rachel said as soon as she had walked into her childhood room. She cringed at the walls, but smiled when she saw her poster board covered in gold stars.

"It matched your pain in the ass personality." Santana said, coming into the room. Rachel pushed her and Santana grinned, tucking her luggage away.

"Are you sad you won't get to stay with your family?" Rachel asked, throwing herself onto her bed and Santana sat next to her, shrugging.

"Eh, this is better than hearing them shouting in Spanish all day. Not my fault my mom decided to redo my room into a hobby room." Santana rolled her eyes, mimicking her mom's Hispanic accent.

"Ladies," Kurt sang, bouncing into the room with Blaine in tow.

"What now, Lady?" Santana asked, shrugging off her jacket.

Kurt clapped his hands excitedly. "In a few short hours, we'll be reliving our youth!" Rachel looked at him confused. "Remember the night we all got drunk down in Rachel's basement? We'll, since Rachel's dads are in Cleveland for the weekend, I called Quinn -who happens to be in town visiting Beth- and Puck as well, Mercedes, Tina and Mike, and we're going to throw down in the basement like old times!" His voice rose from the excitement and Rachel and Santana laughed.

"You are brilliant, Porcelain!" Santana high fived Kurt who looked extremely pleased with himself.

"When is everyone coming over?" Rachel asked, glancing at the clock on her nightstand.

"Around 10." Blaine answered, grabbing Kurt's hand in his own. "But first we're going to run over to Kurt's parents and say hello."

Kurt nodded eagerly. "I want to surprise them." He smiled and the girls nodded.

"Well, I'm going to get my nap on and rest up for tonight then." Santana said, kicking off her shoes and curling up on Rachel's bed. Rachel yawned, realizing how tired she was as well. "And I think I'll join her."

The two boys smiled at them and nodded, "We'll give you a call when were on our way back over!"

* * *

"Quinn!" Rachel's voice was the loudest as the doorbell rang and the group of friends crowded inside of Rachel's house. Quinn Fabray smiled widely at the petite brunette, hugging her tightly.

Quinn laughed loudly. "So good to see you too, Rachel."

Rachel beamed up at Quinn and Santana sashayed in behind Rachel.

"Wanky." Santana mumbled, winking at the girls and Rachel groaned but Quinn simply smiled, reaching forward and hugging Santana tightly.

"Good to see you too, Lopez." Santana grinned, shrugging her shoulders. "You look good, both of you do." The two friends smiled widely at her.

"I know you missed me and Berry." She wrapped her arm around Rachel and Quinn, tugging them along down to the basement while the rest of group chatted away.

Kurt watched the girls leave the group and Santana glanced over her shoulder, nodding slightly at Kurt and he gave her a thumbs up.

"Guys, guys!" Kurt said forcefully over the group. "We have a dilemma."

"Drama already?" Mercedes groaned and Kurt nodded.

"This have anything to do with Berry being in town as the same time as Hudson?" Puck interjected and Kurt quickly silenced him.

"How'd you know?"

"Psh, Hudson is still my main man. We've kept in contact." Puck said, leaning against the stair case.

"Wait, Finn is in town too?" Mike asked and Blaine nodded.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no." Tina mumbled, her eyes wide. "We've got to keep Rachel away from him."

"Exactly!" Kurt clapped his hands together before pointing at the others. "We keep our mouths shut about Finn, got it? The last thing we need is a hot mess express by the name of Rachel Berry running all around Lima looking for him."

The group nodded before Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand in his, smiling widely. "Now, lets party like we're in high school again!" The others laughed and whooped before following Kurt downstairs.

* * *

"I'm wassssted." Rachel sang, laughing loudly as Santana tripped in her heels, falling into the couch, swearing loudly in Spanish.

The music was playing loudly and the group of friends had plenty of alcohol in their hands. Tina and Mike stood in the middle of the basement, doing an impromptu dance number and Kurt laughed loudly at a drunken Puck, who thrusting in the air to the music. Blaine was looking dreamily at Kurt while Mercedes did circles around him and Quinn sat next to Rachel on the floor, trying her best to stay upright.

"Best party ever!" Blaine shouted over the music and the other joined in, laughing widely. Rachel stood up, swinging her hips to the music, flipping her hair back in forth while chugging the rest of her drink.

"Who knew you'd become such a wild girl?!" Quinn said, pointing her finger at Rachel and wiggling her eyebrows at her.

"It's cause she's been living with me." Santana said, winking suggestively. "I even got her to make out with a girl Junior year!"

Quinn's mouth dropped open and Rachel blushed. "Oh mannnn, I would've loooved to have seen that. Girl on girl, even with Berry, is hot as fuck." Puck danced his way over to them and Quinn and Santana laughed while Rachel rolled her eyes at him.

"Rachel's a little devil now." Quinn nudged her affectionately and Rachel only grinned slyly up at them.

"Only for you." Rachel winked and Puck and Santana roared with laughter as Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand spinning her around. The girls danced and laughed while the others did the same around them.

"Oh my god!" Mercedes suddenly yelled and the others looked around confused. She pointed to the stereo which had just changed to another song. "Remember Junior year? We all sang this song for Mr. Schue while we were drunk!" She laughed loudly, humming along and the others grinned wildly as they realized which song it was.

_"Blame it on the goose_  
_ Got you feeling loose_  
_ Blame it on Patron_  
_ Got you in the zone_  
_ Blame it on th a-a-a-a-a-lcohol_  
_ Blame it on th a-a-a-a-a-lcohol"_

Rachel grabbed the microphone from the stage her father's had left set up and she pulled Quinn and Santana over to her, the three of them singing loudly into the microphone. The others whooped and hollered before joining in with the girls, all dancing around the basement with each other.

Hours later, the friends were scattered around the basement floor, exhausted and drunk.

"I love you guys!" Mercedes giggled loudly. "L.A. isn't the same without you guys."

Tina and Mike smiled at her, "We're thinking about moving out there once Tina is done with school." Mercedes squealed excitedly, sitting up quickly before falling back over. The others laughed.

"Whooooa, got up way to fast." She mumbled, laughing at herself while the others laughter died down. They all laid in silence, before hearing Kurt's soft snores from next to Blaine.

The group sniggered, looking in his direction and Blaine was soundly asleep next to him too. "I think they got the right idea." Puck commented, rolling over on the couch and the others agreed, each curling up in various places.

After a few moments, the friends we're sound asleep. Rachel and Quinn laid a few feet away from each other smirking at Santana's drool pooling from her mouth on the floor. Rachel sat up on her elbow, looking over at Quinn.

"We really have missed you Quinn." She told the blonde. "I wish you didn't live in another state."

Quinn smiled. "I'm actually thinking about moving to New York." She said quietly and Rachel shrieked excitedly before quietly moving closer to Quinn.

"Really?"

"That's the plan as of right now; come September I want to be there." Rachel smiled at Quinn, taking her hand in hers.

"I'm so glad we've stayed friends." She said softly and Quinn nodded. Quinn linked their pinkies together before yawning.

"Now, lets get some sleep, I have a feeling we're all going to have major hangovers tomorrow." Rachel laughed quietly, nodding and turning on her side. Quinn's eyes shut almost instantly and Rachel stared at all her friends for a moment before closing her own eyes.

Only one thing was missing right now.

_Finn. _

* * *

obviously I don't own the song Blame It (On the Alcohol) or the lyrics in the title (Without You). i hope everyone enjoys the chapters; reviews are much appreciated and dont worry, there will be some Finchel soon! :)


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